The Holy Grail- Week 7 WRs
1 Calvin vs Atl – Oh, Hey amazing player on all my teams. Thanks for being you.
2 Miles Austin vs Stl – Romo to Austin for 2 Tds this week , lock it down he will be a monster.
3 Bowe vs Oak – Cassel to Bowe has been a theme for the last couple of weeks and it will continue this week as he looks strong and fast; which is scary , not like Michael Myers scary , more like Amityville scary because it’s based on a true story.
3 Wallace vs Az – See the Big Ben blurb , realize Rodgers-Cromartie is now on the Eagles. Put those together and Wallace is a monster. I couldn’t decide between him and Bowe so they both get ranked 3rd.
5 Dez Bryant vs Stl – If you can’t tell I’m high on the Romo to Dez to Miles to Witten arrangement they will have going on this week – it reminds me of a 4 way marriage or whatever it is the Mormons call it; Romo is the Daddy.
6 Steve Smith vs Wash – He is due for a score and 100 yards , he is guaranteed at least one of those two things , and if he gets both he becomes a top 3 play. So I think 6 is a great spot for him this week.
7 Marshall vs Den – Looked unstoppable last week against Revis of all people. Champ is shutting people down this season for Denver so far but Marshall is a wack job so that gives him an edge.
8 Colston vs Ind – After last week how could he not be in the top 10 in a PPR blog during such a deep bye week. Even if he spells his first name wrong; Seriously: Marques? CMON MAN.
9 Vincent Jackson vs NYJ – He is healthy and he is built like Marshall who dominated the Jets last week.
10 Roddy White vs Det – I am sick of waiting for him to explode , so I will move him down and out of must start territory. You know what that means , get him in all your salary cap lineups regardless of his salary because I am finally sitting him. The world is a cruel place.
11 Little vs Sea – His time is now, his week is this week and Mccoy will hit him for 8 catches 75 yards and 1TD.
12 Fitz vs Pit – Tough matchup for the Salad (get it Kolb salad) ; but I digress , he needs bigger targets , better comedy from me and more chances to show why he is the best leaper at the position. Wells and play action should start opening up some things for him.
13 Boldin vs Jax – He made me look good recently and for that he gets rewarded and kept in WR1 high WR2 territory. Especially in a cush matchup.
14 Garcon vs NO – He is making plays for them and is clearly the best , if not only threat in the Colts passing attack. Keep rolling him out there.
15 Decker vs Mia – Big shakeup in my rankings this week. With Lloyd gone , the Tebow factor comes into play here. The Tebow factor is him keeping plays alive which will help a young WR like Decker get open for some long gainers.
16 S. Rice vs Cle – Some smug blogger was yelling at me about how Cleveland has a great pass defense , but failed to note that they give up huge amounts of yardage per catch , and that their pass defense is only a product of everyone rushing the ball so much against them. Whitehurst to Ricehurst so much it hurts! I think there is a Hertz/Hurtz/Hurst rent a car commercial to be found in there somewhere. Someone call an agent.
17 Jordy vs Min – His QB is all world , but I would caution that Finley really needs some work here. James Jones is a nuisance to anyone who wants to see Nelson become a consistent weekly scorer , but Minny is prone to giving up big plays and Jordy is prone to making them , so that seems like a good marriage.
18 Holmes vs SD – Not high on him this week , but in PPR he offers some stability and less questions then the WRs coming up.
19 Moss vs Car – Beck to Moss? Bend it like Beckham? Worst Beer award of my life goes to Becks.. I hate that stuff , and I hate you if you like it.
20 Harvin vs GB – something to Ponder – what is the meaning of life? Something not to Ponder that Harvin’s value goes up with Mcnabb Mcretiring way too Mcfreakinlate.
21 Heyward-Bey vs KC – WOOOOOOOOOOO Heyward Bey , making a draft savant such as myself a proud owner of the your amazing hyphen. Palmer comes aboard too.
22 Wayne vs NO – One of my followers said “You know Wayne sucks when I just traded Ed Dickson for him straight up” gotta say , it not Wayne’s World – I Christian Ponder if Lil Wayne is somewhere rapping about Reggie Wayne playing as soft as Wayne Brady. No Paintering of any masterpieces any time soon , frenchie Garcon looks for real.
23 Nate Washington vs Hou – I don’t think Hasselbeck will be good this week so in turn Nate Washington is not going to be great. Sit him in you can , that’s my advice , I may be wrong , I sometimes am , not a lot though , but sometimes I am , but most times I’m right. I do win a lot , I don’t own Nate Washington.. moving on.
24 Mike Williams vs Chi – Still lackluster, still a risky start , still someone I am avoiding. Still Dre…. my inner rapper has apparently come out to play.
25 Jacoby Ford vs KC – I have to give this Ford some love. He was no model T last week but he will play like a Taurus going forward. Not the old Tauruses , but the new ones , they are very nice and spacious , great ride as well…. if there are ANY Ford advertisers reading this article , I will write about your stuff to all my 32 readers (and growing!) The charge will only be $4000 per article , which is a relative steal for what you are getting.. think about it.
26 Lloyd vs Dal – Feeley will welcome you nicely to the Rams where you will promply wish you never got traded. Same value as Mike Thomas but more risk more upside.
26 (A) Mike Thomas vs Bal – Man I am tired of writing about this gu………….. 🙂
27 Doug Baldwin vs Cle – Ok that’s it , im retiring , Doug Baldwin just made my top 30. I blame this squarely on Lance Moore.
28 Lance Moore vs Ind – Oh Hey Lance , how has sucking been for you? you do realize Doug Baldwin is now a better WR than you right.. Think about that , then consider retiring.
29 Meachem vs Ind – Hey Meachem , see Lance’s blurb – you should feel just as bad.
30 Plax vs Sd – this is PURELY because he needs to be used for them to win. If I know that I am PRAYING that the Jets know that. Enter obligatory Gun plus Feet joke Here: ________________________________________
31 James Jones vs Min – Oh Hey double J , J squared as you will now be known to me – thanks for screwing with Finley’s targets and work. Really needed that this year , cheers to you turning an ankle!
32 Nate Burleson vs Atl – You want a sleeper @tendtorockhard well here is your sleeper – with Best out Pettigrew becomes a bigger factor and Burleson get reintroduced to that offense.
33 Jacoby Jones vs Ten – Seriously Fanduelers – 5 of you started him vs me last week – did you guys even watch 1 play of the prior week ? Or notice they were playing against Baltimore – and of COURSE he goes yard and torches me last week ; I tell ya.. the nerve of some people beating me at #fantasyfootball.
34 Malcolm Floyd vs NYJ – Cromartie is not all that good , but I don’t know what to make of Floyd – If he doesn’t score on a long play he is practically useless , Jacoby Jones is similar , but he gets more targets so he is safer.
35 Breaston vs Oak – Insert “Breaston Largement” joke here:________________________ and I guess he looks pretty good at 35 – another hard guy to judge and yes Breason Largement and Hard Guy were both used in the same blurb. Moving on.
SCREWED UP MY DRAFT
36 Kevin Walter vs Ten – If I didn’t hate this guy for getting hurt or sucking every time I thought it was prudent to add him to my roster than I would have him higher.
37 Antonio Brown vs Az – He should be higher , but I think Wallace goes off and Hines Ward gets involved. Mendenhall looked rejuventated last week and will get a ton of touches too, leaving Brown with scraps – BUT he is a sleeper because of his matchup. ZZZZ
38 Hines Ward vs Az – They clutter each other up in this matchup (him and Brown) , plus Miller is there and it is hard for me to advise anyone to start any of these players.
39 Gaffney vs Car – Gaffney will be at John’s Beck n Call – see what I did there? Comedy Gold.
40 Massaquioi vs Sea – With Colt in hyper drive passing the ball he will be as pesty as a Massquito – I’ve been sitting on that one since August and it was worth it.
Denarius Moore vs KC – Another guy that was a darling just a few weeks ago and has seem to lost his luster. I like all the Raiders this week to get in the action.
SHOT IN THE DARK
Dane Sanzenbacher vs TB – Young , talented player. Horrible name – rumor is they had to take two jerseys and sew them together just to have enough room for his name plate.. It’s just a rumor though so whatevs and it doesn’t really hurt his value.
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Ok enough selling- The week 7 grail is out , and my non stop Tweet-a-Thon is still going.
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Until next week gentleman – stay safe and win a game or 3 for me!
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